minutes wasted.

this week has flown by. as has every week of 2011. i want time to stand still so i can enjoy it all. but i know that can't happen. so i'm left with the enjoying it all part. even when hours seem to be minutes and minutes are seconds.

"a pail with a pinhole loses as much as the pail pushed right over. a whole life can be lost in minutes wasted, small moments missed." 

-ann voskamp 

(www.aholyexperience.com)

those small moments are the ones i'm missing. they're the ones i'm too busy for. at the beginning of this week i was talking to my sweet friend Blair about intentionally planning out our week so when people ask what we did this week we would have an answer for them. it's not that i don't do anything during my week, it's that i do so much it all blurs together. if the small moments throughout everyday are where we find the most life and joy then my days and weeks shouldn't be a blur. 

sometimes i think i have it figured out. how to balance my quiet time with young life, and friends and family with schoolwork. and then sometimes i don't. 

and in those times i feel so overwhelmed. so trampled. so burdened by the things that brought me joy.

i have come to realize that i can't gain control of my present life or my future. but i desperately try to hold on. all that has brought me is anxiety and worry. so i'm going to let go of it and focus on the small moments of joy throughout my day. i don't doubt that they are there, i'm just getting in the way of seeing and feeling them.